"March 10,2017 37 Weeks 

So,  we're officially going to meet you next week! Incredible. "Just like that?" is the question I asked the doctor. This is not what or how I envisioned it but I am grateful, very grateful. At the end of the day what's most important is that we are all safe and not at risk" 

These are part of the words I wrote in my pregnancy journal less than a week to meeting my little one. I did my antenatal care in a different hospital and husband and I decided to have our delivery on another hospital, I had to register close to my Edd. I started going to this new hospital and because of my height it was recommended to do a pelvis examination. This is not done routinely but from a certain height they recommend this scan so they can know what they're working with. 

This was the timeline. I went in for my regular appointment on a Friday, I was asked to do the CT Pelvimetry scan the next Friday before I came for my appointment which I did. I gave the doctor the Pelvimetry report, he examined it and told me point blank that my pelvis was "inadequate", made a few calls and scheduled me for a C-section the next Wednesday and I blurted out "Just like that" He explained to me why we had to go that route and the consequences if I choose not to go for it. 

I called my husband to tell him and I went home after the routine blood work. We looked over the report of the pelvimetry exam and sent to a couple of people after we were certain that a c-section was the only way, we called our parents to inform them that their grand baby will be here in 5 days. 

In the next couple of days, I just wanted to mentally prepare myself because frankly I wasn't ready. I was thinking I had atleast 3 weeks to prepare but now, I had just 3 days. I put my hospital box together, arranged baby's cloths, watched tons of youtube videos on CS, listened to my playlist over and over again and basically just waited. In that wait, I fought the urge to be sad and have a pity party because this was going to be the first time I would have a surgery in my life. Nothing prepares you for it frankly. 

According to the hospital's policy, I had to go in the day before because I'm not supposed to eat after a certain time and the surgery was supposed to be early in the morning. 

The night before on our way to the hospital
I had put together a playlist and movies on my phone that I would watch, just to have a positive mindset. My Sister and Mother in Law were around to follow us to the hospital, While I wasn't very happy about the means I was so glad the pregnancy journey was coming to an end. I watched Queen of Katwe that night to take my mind off the nervousness I was feeling, still managed to sleep abit after. 

As early as 6am, it was time to get the show on the road. The nurses (which were amazing) came in to prep me, put in needles for IV fluid as I had not eaten anything in the last 9 Hours. The IV thing felt weird as I could feel the fluid go in through my veins.
Where I spent the next 48 hour
Ready for IV fluid 

As I changed into the hospital gown and waited for the theater to be ready, I was crying. I really couldn't wait for it to be over. Finally got into the operating room, I felt like a cow waiting to be sluthered with how they laid me there, I was just thinking all kind of thoughts and muttering "God help me" and fighting back the tears. It felt like I was watching a movie but the beeping sound of all the gadget I was plugged to reminded me that this was really happening to me. By this time I had gotten the epidural and gradually not feeling any pain. When they started cutting me open I felt abit of pain and told the anastheoligist and I think she added a dose to the pain killers I was given, enough to numb the pain but not enough to put me to sleep so I was hanging in the balance and in what felt like a twinkle of an eye, I felt the relief. My very tight stomach felt relief and I heard the cry of my baby and I just say "Thank you Jesus" and just like in the movies I thought they would atleast come show me my baby but that didn't happen. Thankfully, my husband was there and he just went with the nurses to clean him up and do the necessary for him. 

The next 45 mins - 1 hour or so was a blur asides from me drifting in and out of sleep and muttering some gibberish to my husband, It is not a feeling I want to remember. After I was wheeled back to my room after the surgery, I had still not seen my baby and I just kept saying "I have not seen him" when they finally brought him to me.

right after the surgery 
First time holding my baby. 

I didn't even know what to feel, It felt like I cried but I don't think I did. It was such an emotional thing for me and I was under the influence of some heavy pain reliever. I nursed the guilt in my heart of not being able to push my baby and have an ideal experience rather than be under the influence of drugs. At the moment I just felt I needed to be alone, I couldn't process my joy or the lack of it. I desperately wanted to be alone and have some time to process the whole thing but as you can imagine I didn't get to do that until like 2-3 months after.

 I am so grateful for medicine because I probably won't have been able to give birth to my baby without surgery. The process of Pregnancy and Child birth is not a walk in the park and I've described it as "Traumatic" to anyone who cared to listen, it's a part of my life I want to just block out. The pregnancy journey wasn't tough for me but at the same time it wasn't so breezy. I am grateful for the gift of a beautiful boy and I am sooo Thankful to God for putting him in our care but I am also not looking forward to the next one (I know there will be by God's grace)

You can view the rest of my Pregnancy journey here

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